I won't lie, I think this original piece lands better, but that is probably just my opinion. I'll tell you why, and you can discard my opinion if it doesn't serve you :).
"What's going on here"? Wonderful! So many artists try to prove a specific point without leaving anything open. I love the abstract nature of this paint + draw. In this early iteration, I can use my own imagination to wonder about things. The later image you produced is, in some way, more "specific" than this image -- and when dealing with gore / trauma / etc, I think it's best to leave interpretation open. That may just be my opinion, and I'm happy to be wrong :).
Specifically, the intestine is not well defined -- I have to imagine it. I can see the shoulders; the eyes; the hips;... it all stands out very well. But I want to know about the chest. Is there some heart? Is this about pain, or anatomy? I don't know if you intended to prove a point with the image, but as a gamer type, I appreciate the inspiration and it's reasonable.
If you ever revisit this idea I hope you look at both of your paints and decide on something that tells a story. I will not claim to be good at this myself :), merely, that I noticed.
Best!